6FootBombshell

No matter the credentials, status and wealth a woman has, none of that makes her free from having low self-esteem, low self value and this undeniable feeling of incompleteness if she’s single.  With all the accomplishments and advancements we have made, some women still do not feel validated until they have a man.

I came across a story of a woman named Jacquelyn Kotarac, Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac to be exact, from Bakersfield, California.  A 49-year old woman, who on paper “appears” to be a good catch.  She has the beauty and the brains combination that one would assume most men would want.  There are reports that Dr. Kotarac was in one of those on-again, off-again relationships that many go through.  Apparently during the “off season” of this relationship, Jacquelyn dies.  How you ask?  Breaking into her boyfriend’s house.  This lady took a ladder, climbed to the roof and went feet first through the chimney and got stuck.  While she was trying for her best 007 impersonation, her boyfriend was sneaking out the front door.  Three days later her corpse was found in the flue.

This brings me to ask what was going through her head and the head of other women who have gone through drastic measures to get in contact with a man who apparently doesn’t want any contact?  What brought Jacquelyn to the point of scaling a damn building and climbing through the chimney?  I’m sorry.  I just laughed typing that because it sounds crazy as hell.  Initially I just charged it to the low self-esteem game but then I began to think of other possible factors.  Factors such as the societal pressures that are put on us to be married.  Anything but single.   A single lady is treated like she has the bubonic plague.  Plenty of times when asked about my marital status and I tell them unmarried, I’ve been asked “What’s wrong with you?  33 and you’re not married yet?”  When marriage is brought up in a professional or personal setting, if there’s an unmarried woman in the circle, an awkward silence comes over the convo as if she just said she worshiped the devil.  I begin to think of all the paparazzi reports and front cover articles of Jennifer Anniston is “SINGLE AGAIN!!” *insert horror movie music*  What is she going to do now?  Jennifer Anniston, alone AGAIN!  All the reports, books and documentaries of the single ladies guide to FINDING AND GETTING YOU A MAN!   Single?  We can help you out!  Then there’s mother dearest.  How many times has a daughter heard her mother say “isn’t it about time you get married?” “I sure wish you hurry up and give me my grandchildren.”  I’ve even heard a mother tell her daughter they were damn fools for not marrying an abusive prick because “only a fool would choose to be over 30 and unmarried.”

Fortunately, I believe because of what my parents instilled, I’ve never had a thought of climbing to the roof of a mans house to shimmy down his chimney like a bootleg ass Santa Clause.  I’ve never gone through a phone or took part in a “drive by” with my girls as passengers ready to slice tires and bust out windows.  I know a large reason why is because of the men that I’ve dated.  I’ve never kept a man around that would give me a reason to have to get all Inspector Gadget-ish on him.  But I do believe another part of it is my self-esteem.   But that’s just me.  Who’s to say just because these pressures didn’t affect me negatively they wouldn’t another woman?  And if they did affect a woman emotionally, does that mean she was weak and not as strong as someone else that doesn’t let these outside factors get to them?  What exactly brings a woman to say ‘when I get to his house, I’m going through his chimney”?

I think I have an answer to the problem:  Mom, stop telling your daughters something is wrong with them if they’re not married; Dad, you’re our first identifiable source of male affection. When we’re validated by you, we’re not looking for validation from any other man; society stop acting like a single woman in a room full of married people is an outcast.  You don’t do the same for men.  When men are single, they’re celebrated.  He’s the “American Gigolo” living life free and to the fullest.  His single life is envied by most of his male friends and society in general.  He’s portrayed on TV and the big screen as the hot, hip, cool, fun, life-is-so-easy, single man.  But a single woman is depicted as lonely, sexually promiscuous females that are “longing to be loved because they missed something at home”, a bitch and whatever else when we’re single.   Why the double standards?   And can this play a part in why we have 50 year-old women in their best James Bond rendition, climbing through chimneys? SMH.

They’re calling Tiger’s divorce “the divorce of the decade”.  I’m actually surprised Mrs. Woods actually left him.  But I have  a strange feeling had the humiliation not been televised, she’d still be right there.  As the reports came in that the divorce was official, it amazed me how emotionally charged women around the world are about Tiger’s indiscretions and poor poor Elin.  But what amazes me more is this  feeling that a woman is ENTITLED to all or half of  her husband’s fortune because of a divorce.  I’m reading comments across the World Wide Web like “she should leave him penniless”, “she should take him to the bank”, “$10 million for each affair”.  Are you kidding me?  Elin didn’t swing a damn club or win a single Masters.  Furthermore, he was half a billionaire when she met him.   Why should she be entitled to half his fortune?  Yeah, so what she was his wife and took care of the kids.  Shit, that’s what she’s supposed to do.  Just like he was supposed to bring home the bacon.   Don’t get me wrong, I do believe she’s entitled to SOME money.  I do not believe the children should have to go to the poor house but neither should the husband who broke his back bringing home those millions.  I don’t care if Tiger slept with half the female population in Canada, Elin should not get half his fortune.

When Britney Spears went spiraling downwards and Kevin filed for divorce no one was saying “Kevin should take her to the bank!” As a matter of fact, he was being called a scumbag for getting alimony.  Why the double standard?  She’s the breadwinner so why isn’t Kevin entitled to half her fortune?

We need to stop crying about being treated as equals but when certain things happen we play the damsel in distress and use the “woman” aspect as a basis to support our claim.  If Elin gets half then so should Kevin.  I bet if we hear more about men talking half our fortune we’ll be singing another tune.

Singer, Fantasia Burrino, has been reportedly admitted to an North Carolina hospital for an overdose of aspirin and a sleep aid.  This “alleged” suicide attempt they’re calling it,  is from the overwhelming media pressure about rumors of her having an affair with Antwuan Cook,  a married man and being sued by Paula Cook, his wife.  Apparently, North Carolina allows the wives of cheating husbands to sue the MISTRESS.  Before I get into why I’m irritated about this whole thing, I pray that this girl is ok and recovers physically and emotionally.

Now that Alicia Keys and Swizz are married, those rumors of her dating him while he was still married are obviously true.  Now this rumor with Fantasia.  Alicia just so happened to luck up and get a man who ACTUALLY left his wife.  I’m so sick and tired of hearing the same old song from bishes who date married men.  “I’m not happy at home” and “we’re seperating soon” is the biggest excuse and lie these men use.   Do you value yourself that lowly that when he tells you “yeah, I’m married but we ain’t happy”, you can’t say “well when you actually LEAVE your wife, give me a call.”?   WTF is wrong with you chicks?  Yes the men are trifling too but I’m not talking to them because if chicks weren’t readily available to reduce themselves down to being a mere side bitch or having their hands out to take sloppy seconds, then these men wouldn’t have the opportunity to cheat.   At least let the divorce papers be filed and he’s living outside the damn house!

What irritates me even more is when we act like we don’t know.  All the red flag are waving in the air like they’re in the middle of a hurricane.  You don’t have his home number and you only hook up at your house or hotels.  He still lives in the damn house!  You believed him when he told you that he sleeps in a different room?  You believed him when he told you they weren’t having sex anymore?  LOL!  Come on now.  Don’t be a stupid bish your ENTIRE life.  Or what about when chicks use the excuse ”well, if the wife was doing her job” or “I’m not responsible for breaking up the marriage..it was already broken”?  Is that how you convince yourself that dating a married a man is cool? 

Brian Dickens, Fantasia’s manager, says in a statement on Monday, “she will weather this storm with dignity and grace.”  Dignity and Grace wouldn’t have got her in this position from the beginning.

Queen Latifah and her honey, fitness instructor Jeanette Jenkins all boo’d up in Saint-Jean-Cap-Ferrat, France.   Alongside, Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats on their honeymoon.  Maybe it’s a double honeymoon?  Who knows.  Proposition 8 was just given the green light..hhmmmmmm?

It’s about time Queen is out in the open about it.  It’s not like we didn’t know and it’s not like we really care.  She’s still the QUEEN, period!

Alicia looking fab, belly and all!  I hope I look hot in a bikini while pregnant.

One more wedding and people will think this is a marriage blog.  But how can the Bomb Squad here forget about the most important wedding, our favorite former President (please note I’m being sarcastic) baby girls big day?

Because I care less about the Clintons and their homely looking daughter, I never paid attention to anything regarding Chelsea let alone who she’s dating.  But I do remember saying to myself back when EVERY news station reported their engagement, “dang, his last name sounds familiar”.  Naturally with their wedding being the “wedding of all weddings”, hearing his name again made me look him up and I was right, his name was familiar for a reason.

Chelsea’s beau, Marc Mezvinsky, is the son of Edward Mezvinsky, former Iowa Congressman and convicted felon.  See, Ed, scammed over $10 million from people using the good ole email method.  His defense was *drum roll* “I was suffering from a mental illness.”  HA!  Good one. 

I guess birds of a feather flock together *shrugs*

They actually do look very happy and mark this in your calendar, but I think she looks absolutely wonderful.  Vera Wang and Burberry never looked so good together.  Here are the new Mr. and Mrs. Mezvinsky:

Costs: Rumored to be a $5-10 million dollar wedding.  I wonder if any of that $10 million Ed stole helped?  Let me stop and leave these love birds alone.  I don’t want to take away from their beautiful day.. I guess

I wish fathers were celebrated more throughout the year.  Because at the end of the day they are just as important and just as needed as mom is.  There should be a shift from this unwritten “societal rule” that mom is the nurturer and dad is the breadwinner.  Yes, biologically mom is but there needs to be a movement in the family structure where dad is also the nurturer.

I was fortunate enough to have my father in my life until he was struck down by a silent killer.  One day he went to the hospital for what he thought was severe gas or stomach pain only to be told it was pancreas cancer and had only a few months to live.  Three months later he was gone.  At this time I can say I had him for most of my life but it dawned on me when I get old and grey I will only of had him for a very short period of time.  I’ve been robbed.

I honestly do not know who’d I be if I didn’t know him.  This is in no way to take away my mother’s role but my father’s love was my first identifiable source of male affection.  It has prepared me for the next man in my life.  Because of my father’s love I do not seek validity from a man.  My father told me I was already valid.  Because of his love I know my worth and how I’m supposed to be treated.   I was so prepared for love and dating.  It was like he had everything written out for me and it was the small things that he was always right about that determined the character of a man.  He told me if a man can’t give you his home number (this was way before  cellphones took over) then he’s married or living with a woman.  That always stuck in my head when I was meeting guys and literally almost every guy at that time that could not give me a house phone was married or with a girlfriend.  I’ll never forget the time a gentlemen was giving me his beeper and office number.  He said, “I work 50+ hours so I’m never home.”  As he extends his hand out with the business card I said to him, “my father told me any man who can’t give me his home number is not a man I should be dealing with.  You’re married, aren’t you?”  I’ll never forget his face.  His head dropped and the hand that had his card in it fell back to his side.  He began to shake his head and laugh.  He was busted.  But what has resonated in me to this day was his reply:  YOU HAVE A GOOD FATHER.  TAKE CARE.   And we parted ways.   He walked away with the card in his hand.  There was no need to lie or plead his case.  He knew I wasn’t the chick to run the game on.  Stories like that were few and far between.  I always seemed to gravitate towards men like my father or them to me.   It was the norm for me to be in the company of great men that in some way epitomized my dad.

Then there are the other traits that make 6FootBombshell the women that she is.   Besides the height and the dimples he gave me the desire to never conform, my righteous fury, my fight for what is right, the revolutionary that’s inside me, my mindset.  All these things are my father.  His role was my future.

Daddy, thank you for being my blueprint.  Thank you for loving me.  Happy Father’s Day.

Where do I even begin?  We’ve all heard by now the rumors of Lebron James mother, Gloria James, having sex with Lebron’s teammate, Delonte West.  Just typing that foolishness makes me break into laughter.  I initially just blew it off but to many “official” people are confirming the story.  Not to talk about this man’s mother, but I can’t wrap my mind around why this young man would want her *ouch*.  Yeah, that was foul but I said it.   He has the baddest groupies in the world clinging to his sac and one night he says to himself “forget that bad ass 21 year-old who scaled the wall of my hotel and snuck into my room.  I’m gonna f*ck Lebron’s mom!”  It doesn’t make any sense.  Then I thought of the Destiny’s Child Syndrome, DCS.  Yes, I gave it an acronym.    Kelly and Michelle practically were seen as backup singers.  I remember watching them on the red carpet and a camera man called Kelly by the name of one of the former members!  He didn’t even know Kelly’s name.  I don’t care what anyone says, Kelly and Michelle spent nights in envious fury trying to find a way to take B out.  But you see where I’m going with this?

You have a team of players that are non-existent to the world.  They are the Kelly’s and Michelle’s of Beyonce’s Child I mean Destiny’s Child.  How much more can a rich, young, immature man take playing second fiddle?  King James this. King James that.  Antawn who? Lebron AND the Cleveland Cavaliers.  Lebron is the Cleveland Cavaliers.  Delonte who? The only man on the team that counts is Lebron James. MARSHA! MARSHA! MARSHA!  I can SO see Delonte sleeping with this man’s mother out of spite, envy and jealousy.

“Yeah, you’re the King but I f*cked your moms.”  There’s nothing that tops that.  She has completely emasculated Lebron.  But if this is true, I’m almost not as mad at Delonte as I am with Gloria.  Come one Mama James?  Delonte West?  Really?!?  You couldn’t have picked maybe one of the cute ones?  Just kidding.  This whole things stinks to high hell.  She has to be the most evil or the most stupid  bish in the North Central region of the United States.  Just like I can’t wrap my mind around him wanting to sex her up, I can’t wrap my mind why she would do it.

I can see it now.  Lebron is on the court playing and fouls someone.  Words are exchanged and then all we hear is “that’s why Delonte effed your mother!”

Lebron is caught by the paparazzi and gives them a hard time about taking pictures…”that’s why Delonte effed your mother!”

Lebron is at Wal-Mart and tries to make his entrance and exit as discreet as possible.  He’s almost clear until 10 year-old Billy Bob catches him at the exit.  “Hey Lebron! Can I get your autograph?”  Lebron apologetically declines because he doesn’t want to cause a scene.  “That’s why I effed your mother!” Billy says.

Do you see how ugly this can get?  Lebron will be 73 years-old and that will still be the running joke.  Lets hope this is truly just a rumor.  What a #epicfail if it’s not.  SMGDH!